I’ve been at home in Atlanta, GA and away from my mother for over a week now. I’m almost ashamed to say that I needed this time to recharge. My children needed to be with their father. I want to go back – need to go back, but dread it all the same. Seeing my mother in her current state is heartbreaking. It pains me to think of my father – A man who’s had to endure and face the ups and downs of this disease every single day for the past two years. I was only there for 40 days and often felt that my heart couldn’t take another.
My father, at times, seems almost crazed with worry. I spent 15 minutes on the phone with him today listening to him list all of things that he’s cooked for my mother over the past week.
“I made pancakes yesterday morning and she ate a lot of that” he said triumphantly. “But she’s been asleep most of today. I let her sleep because at least then i know she’s not in pain.”
I need to go back.